Popularity Contest

It's the War of the Wrapping Paper in some cases, while your parents are divorcing. Trying to impress you or win your feelings can cause your parents to shower you with presents. Dad buys you that new video game you've been wanting and your mom gets you a new bicycle. They may also do things like let you eat ice cream for breakfast or stay up past your bedtime. It all one big popularity contest. Whatever they do, try not to let material things mask the true gestures of love. When you think that your parents are trying to buy your love, ask yourself this question: if my parents weren't divorcing would my mom/dad do this? That question is usually a good indicator. Remember, nothing they buy you can ever take the place of quality time spent together. :)

 

You Matter Most

So you're at your dad's new place and you are homesick. What do you do? If you ever feel uncomfortable somewhere, just remember that, within reason, your word is law. So even if your dad wants to spend time with you, he should, within limits, respect your right as a child to love both your dad and your mom. Your feelings matter most, so don't hesitate to talk about them with your parents. If you are homesick, tell your parent. otherwise, how can they know why you're so blue. You matter the most to your parents.

 

Prying Parents

In too many cases, your parents might try to make you tell them about each other. Whether these inquiries are disguised as casual questions, shouted, or raised at a family discussion, you may not always be comfortable answering them. First, tell your parents how you feel about these questions. Hopefully, they will respect you enough to let their questions drop. If that's not the case, never answer their questions just because you are pressured. You can always just say no.

What happens when your prying parents go beyond the questions and start spying on you? In this highly technological age, it is hard to protect you privacy online and elsewhere. For example, I can personally confirm that my father read my text messages on my phone and logged into my social media accounts like facebook, email, and twitter. Hopefully, none of you out there have this issue, but if you do, here's my advice: confront them. They will either apologize and stop their snooping or deny that they spy on you. If the latter happens and they insist on acting like a little kid, turn it into a game. Rather than fret over your privacy, if you can't stop it, send yourself messages that you know will make no sense to anyone snooping. For instance, I sometimes email myself a message containing only one word, usually, "bologna" or "wow". While it doesn't stop your parent's from spying on you, it may help them realize their foolishness.

 

Find Something

My first piece of advice is to find something that no one can take away from you. This way, when things get bad or confusing, you can always depend on it. For me, that's music. I love to sing and no one can take that away from me. So on nights going between my dad's and mom's while my dad drives angrily, I sing the whole ride home. Even when my dad would turn off the radio, he couldn't stop me from singing. So I encourage you to find something you love to do that you can hold on to. Maybe you like to write plays or stories, or maybe you just like to dance. Whatever your passion may be, hold on to it.

 

Hello and Welcome!

Hi! This blog is meant to be a resource for anyone who has ever or or is currently experiencing divorce. Although each case is different, I hope that what I say helps. As children, we have that unfortunate position of being stuck in the middle of our parents' problems. Some of us will be showered with gifts while others will feel unnoticed. I'm here to share my experiences and what I've learned from them.